Bad news, my sweet beef raviolis. First off, I want to apologize. I know it can be scary when Joe Jonas argue. You might even feel like it’s your fault, and like Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas wouldn’t fight so much if you weren’t around. That is inarguably true. You should stop spending so much time in their house. They’ve filed so many restraining orders.
Well, you’ve really stuck your foot in it this time. Multiple sources are now confirming that Joe Jonas has filed for divorce from Sophie Turner, referring to their marriage as “irretrievably broken.”
That’s right, you were right to be concerned in the days that followed recent rumors from TMZ and the like that Turner and Jonas were calling it quits. There have been, to the trained celebrity-marriage- dissolution eye, plenty of hints that their four-year marriage had come to an end. Jonas was seen walking around New York like he owned the place without his wedding ring last month. TMZ claimed that someone told them that Jonas had ed as many as two divorce lawyers in recent days, and you don’t just ignore hot tips when they come from someone as down-to-earth and reliable as “unnamed sources.”
Then there was the house in Miami. Jonas and Turner purchased it just a year ago, but they’ve already decided to turn around and sell it. Maybe, the faithful and the hope-filled dreamed, they just decided that they wanted $15 million more than they wanted a hurricane liability.
“Or maybe,” the dark voice inside the heads of every Joe Jonas/Sophie Turner marriage fan seemed to whisper, “they’re getting divorced.”
But darn it all, there was just no way to be sure. Reps for both Jonas and Turner were eerily silent, and the couple hadn’t made a peep about potentially ending their marriage. The photos of Jonas without a ring weren’t exactly narratively load-bearing, as he’d been seen in photos with his ring even more recently than he’d been seen without it.
Turner, meanwhile, had been spotted at Jonas’ concerts as recently as two weeks ago, dancing to the music. When people get divorced, they don’t usually like going to arenas full of people and listening to the person they’re about to split half their stuff with singing “Waffle House.”
But everyone grieves their marriage differently, and documents hunted down by the people at People have now confirmed that Turner, 27, and Jonas, 34, will no longer be married to one another. Details on the separation are sparse — no announcements have been made, no public temper tantrums have been recorded, and neither Sophie Turner nor Joe Jonas has openly ended the coupling. Nevertheless, all signs point to tragedy.
But seriously, stay out of their house. They’re going through enough as it is.
Published: Sep 5, 2023 05:15 pm