An undead sequel continues its reign by pummeling a MAGA mouthpiece’s 22% rotten embarrassment into streaming oblivion

Tonight, boils and ghouls, I bring you a cautionary tale of terror from the sinister world of streaming. It concerns two very different films whose fates have nevertheless become entwined by a curious irony that catapulted them into diametrically opposed directions: one brought new life out of the dead while another took a lively career and may have snuffed it out for good.

As per the #1 slot of the Max streaming charts. Tim Burton himself no doubt would chuckle at the Frankensteinian way he was able to take a franchise that’s been deceased for 30 years and transform it into one of the year’s biggest hits.

There are so many ways legacy sequels can go wrong, but Burton smartly reunited with both Wednesday writers Alfred Gough and Miles Millar and Wednesday herself Jenna Ortega for this one, which ended up coaxing back aging Gen X’ers who loved the original and won Gen Z over to his macabre sensibilities. If some exec somewhere isn’t trying to twist his arm into making Edward Scissorhands 2: This Time It’s His Feet, you can shrink my head.

But every action must have an opposing reaction, so enter this year’s lesson on how not to bring back a classic story in a new form. Sony delivered yet another stinker over the summer with Harold and the Purple Crayon, the paint-by-numbers family film so low-effort they barely managed to color inside the lines. Unlike Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (but like Beetlejuice the character), Harold was dead on arrival at the box office — even failing to recoup its lean $40 million budget — and savaged by critics. It’s currently languishing at just 22% on Rotten Tomatoes. That’s even worse than Zachary Levi’s stinker from last year, Shazam! Fury of the Gods.

Yes, as if things weren’t bad enough for poor Harold it has the misfortune to star an actor who elected to tank his entire reputation shortly after it released. Levi, a former fan-favorite of Disney, DC, and Chuck nerds alike, has since fellow actor Gavin Creel’s death.

If Levi-led movies were still blowing audiences away then perhaps there might still be hope for his career, but after two back-to-back blockbuster bombs over the past two years and the meteoric downturn of his popularity as his MAGA-dom goes on the rise, the chances are that those same execs who are seducing Burton to do Sleepy Hollow 2: 2 Headless 2 Horsemen are now crossing Levi off their casting lists.

One thing that Harold is apparently good for, though, is functioning as a children distraction machine for a couple of hours, as it continues to enjoy solid success on streaming. After finding some more eyes on Netflix, it’s now at #7 on the Max charts. Even so, it ain’t and never will be another Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. One centers around a controversial dude way past his prime who says things he really shouldn’t and can summon doors out of nowhere… And the other is Harold and the Purple Crayon.